I read this the other day: http://www.mamapedia.com/voices/an-open-letter-to-time
And then my eyes got a little watery at work.
I look at Lucy these days and I want to ask her where she came from. This goofy, chattering, tall, hilarious girl. She can’t be my daughter, because my daughter is a little baby girl. Of course she is her. After some time.
When she was little I was very excited about things like, “OH MY GOD SHE TOTALLY JUST ROLLED OVER!!!!” or “OH MY GOD SHE JUST ROLLED OVER THE OTHER WAY!!!!” To be fair little babies don’t do much so you are kind of always waiting for the next thing to happen.
My goal with baby Rocky is to just be. To just enjoy him or her as she is in that moment, because as soon as the day is gone, the little baby is a day older and a day wiser and pretty soon she’s doing summersaults and building towers with legos and “reading” her favorite books to all of her stuffed animals. The time, it goes so much faster than you realize.
I’m sure I’ll be saying the same thing with the next baby as I don’t think you are ever prepared to see your little babies all grown up. But I just want to take it a little easier. Not that I won’t be excited about the baby rolling over. I mean come on I still get excited about stupid little things that I would get excited about when I was 9 so I really haven’t changed that much, (ahem, Christmas morning).
As far as personally I want to take the same attitude. For example, I’m going to start running as soon as I’m allowed, but I’m not going to train for the marathon this year. With nursing I just couldn’t do it the last time I tried it and having to be out running for 3-4 hours at a time doesn’t work. We do have the baby jogging stroller but Rocky will be too little (although I think we can get an attachment for it that would work). And we have the Lucille to think about. Also last time I was biking about 24 miles a day (Ok I did this for like 3 weeks) to and from northwestern, or downtown to catch the train to then bike to fermilab. All while carrying my pump and then my pumped milk and a change of clothes on my back. No. Not this time. Although I would like to get some more use out of my bike.
I do have a goal of the 2013 marathon though. But I just want to be. I want to run and enjoy it and not feel like I have to. I do like all that I was doing last time because I got into pretty good shape pretty fast after she was born. When Jason would come home from work when I was on maternity leave, I would already be dressed in running clothes and I would hand him the baby and walk out the door. All day home with the little baby is tough so I imagine that will be similar. So OK fine, just no planned races. And no biking with pump parts. And I did love that Core Power Yoga.
With work and keeping the family unit from falling apart, I also think I will have to do all my runs early in the morning at like 4:45 because that is the only time that won’t take away from family time. Which will be tough, but not impossible. I need to make a Moms Morning Running Group. Running Jayhawk I’m looking at you.
Ok, I really meant for this to be a short post and on and on I went. In short. Enjoy the time.