Ass barf...and more!

No, I’m absolutely thrilled for Lu that she’s growing up and trying new things.  Really, I couldn’t be happier. The crawling and the laughing and the Matrix-style wave (“I know Kung Fu”) are all just delightful and she’s always so excited and happy.

I mean, it’s all great.  Except the solid food…I’m not 100% sure it’s a good thing.  The thing is, her diapers are getting a bit stinky.  Or to put it another way, HOLY MOTHER OF GOD her ass smells like death.  Up until we’d started solid food, it’d gotten to the point where half the diapers were nearly scentless (and 4% of diapers smelled like lavender).  But now that she’s on the solids, it’s all so vile.  She wakes up; her diaper is filled with a strange mishmash of half-digested carrot bits, pea mush, and evil.  And since I’ve never had a vegetarian throw up on me, this is all a new experience.

You know, it really is just like vomit.  Every morning we get to relive the previous night’s dinner…just like the night after a party!  But this is ass barf, which is far worse.  Either she needs to learn to digest her food or we need to get her potty trained because I can’t take too many more beet-filled diapers.

In other news, Lu continues to be the strong, silent type.  She’s a champion crawler and today she nearly stood up in the bath tub, but she still lives her life in permanent Marcel Marceau mode.  I’m pretty sure she’s a jock.   I guess we’ll know if her first word is “poindexter” and then she shoves me in a locker.  Incidentally, I’m still holding out hope that she’s British.  Little girls with British accents are the cutest.  I guess we’ll just wait for her first words and see.

Fingers crossed!

…

So, we were at the park today and we noticed that all the parents were following their toddlers around, walking about 2-3 feet behind them, repeatedly calling their names.  It was like they were parents spurned, desperately appealing to their kids to reconsider while enduring the silent treatment from their little ones.  At least, that’s what it looked like. I guess it could be that the kids were just born leaders, leaving the parents to fall into their rolls as followers.  But be careful, parents!  “I was just following orders” doesn’t hold up in court.

Alright, time to sign off as it’s time to see who gets voted off So You Think You Can Dance.  I really couldn’t care less as their all solid

…although if Lauren doesn’t win I’m going to kill myself.